Winter's Crystal

Yesterday while at work I looked out the window and saw one of nature's masterpieces. We all know it's been a very cold winter... and yes, on the Kentucky side there has been alot more ice but for the most part just ice and cold. That doesn't suffice for my Winter Rule of "If it's going to be THIS (insert bone chilling degree here) cold then there better be snow on the ground to enjoy." We woke up this morning to some snow! Finally a little accumulated and fortunately on a Saturday so the kids can enjoy it without worry school will be cancelled. Yes, yes... my kids are the ones that don't want to prolong summer vacation.  So, back to yesterday...  I was content with no snow yesterday because the glistening sight that I saw almost had a sound to it. As if it was nature's winter wind chimes sparkling in the bitter breeze. The trees were covered in crystal. The sun was up and out and shining bright... The trees that lined the road looked more like they were made from Swarovski than the same ones that are seen every day. It was simply beautiful and reminded me that through the inconvenience and discomforts of life there is most always something beautiful that is able to shine through.

Today marks 35 weeks.. one more week and little mister is "safe" to come. Although the longer he is in, the better. I don't want to rush him at all but I can't wait to be able to walk without pain again! All the celebrating is over and the preparing is almost done. He is welcome when he is ready. But our deal is he has to be completely ready!

I'm off to enjoy our white weekend!

Where are my feet?

I'm so very happy.  I'm so very excited. I'm also certainly very much in a constant struggle to not whine. I feel like it's all I do and that is most certainly not typical of me. I'm peppy, positive and always looking at the silver lining in every detail of life! Yes, I know the silver lining, the pay off.. a beautiful baby boy who will capture all of our hearts. I can not wait.  This is all worth it, without an ounce of a doubt.  I'm trying to be strong and I think I'm doing pretty well for the most part. I try to counter each pain with a preparation. My back hurts from the moment I wake to nearly toppling me over by the end of the day... it's the pressure of him being so low.  I counteract that with washing the baby clothes and blankets we have.  Getting them fresh and ready for his sensitive skin. Emotionally, it worked. A focus... a physical connection to that silver lining. I've never felt so wrung out. I can't stand for too long because of my pelvis and back and I can't sit for too long because of my not all the way healed tailbone. I may have never felt like my body hated me so much but I most certainly have never felt such love, support and anticipation surrounding us by those who care.

We really are loved and I couldn't be more thankful.

I'm apart of this wonderful baby group on Facebook... there's roughly 30 of us all due in March. We talk daily and share our lives. They truly are a treasure.  One of the girls posted this little article on the mystery of what a new mom is like for a new dad.  Now, I may not be "new" in the least.. in fact, I'm very seasoned.  Yet, this time around I feel about as new as I can get. A few of things won't hold true for us because as being a seasoned mom I have learned to trust myself and let go of expectations ... to go with the flow and know that every baby is different and the fears that come with expectations and the unknown are just that with nothing that can be done for them. So, why stress. For the most part this is all true... and I thought very useful. Nobody tells a new dad how to handle a new mom but they have tons of advice on how to handle a baby!

Wise words for new dads

And finally, I have lost my feet.

Can you see them?

 I hope you all have a wonderful week!!! And thank you for putting up with my gripes and moans... it will get better, I swear!

Happy New Year everyone!! 2013 was a heck of a year. Wedding, family and the promise of a new child. I'm not sure how much more full of excitement we could have gotten but 2014 is about to show us. I'm not doing a resolution.  This year, I resolve to just keep going....  the beginning of our new life in 2013 was just a door. A door that opened the mixture of family, the combination of traditions, the mutual hope for the future. There will be big changes but as we walk through the hall of our life we will do it the same as we walked over that threshold in 2013, together.

The most exciting aspect of 2014 in the horizon to me will be the creation of a new life.  Not just this baby but the life of a new father. I simply can not wait until my husband looks into the eyes of his son. The love never known to exist experienced for the first time.

I'm not going to set forth expectations for this year.  I will go with the flow. I will continue my current hopes and dreams and I will watch as my children get another year older. 14, 12, 9 and New. Such milestones. Such experiences I can't wait to share. 2014 is for family, solidarity and love. 2014 is amazing already!

Time? Who has it?

It's December what now?  The coming weekend the month will be half over already. During the week we will have middle school band concerts, events and at the end... my company Christmas party. Before I know it... the kids will go to Texas for Christmas, come back and it will be next year. WOW! Time, it's flying warp speed and my pregnant hormones just can't stop freaking out. 

Winter has come early this year... a couple days of staying indoors because when the door opens it opens to a covering of ice.  The puppies slipping and sliding on their way to the bathroom is kind of cute though. We barely have winters here and the last two years have been super abnormal. I can actually wear the boots my thoughtful hubby bought me to relieve me of my numb toes. I secretly hope it stays like this through the "cold" months ... less ice, more snow. It balances life. It's what I adore about Tennessee... 4 seasons. Each quadrant of the year brings me it's own comfort.

This time last year, my honey was preparing and planning to give me the surprise of a lifetime.  His mind was filled with sparkles and lights and diamonds and pouring his heart out to this woman. This time this year, he is alot calmer than me. I'm internally trying to plan and prepare for a little human being entering our house. I want things rearranged... I want things perfect for his arrival. I know, it's pretty silly. He's not going to care. Especially living in a house filled with this much love and attention. He isn't going to mind if his clothes aren't sorted into little baskets according to type and size or if his blankets aren't folded perfectly. He isn't going to notice if he doesn't have a changing table in his own nursery.... he's just going to notice the many hands that hold him and the many eyes that watch over his safety.  But dangit, I notice!  After the holidays, baby prep is ON! Time is zipping by me.... January will be here... and the reality is, it's very possibly for this baby to be here in February. Brandon was due in March and born Feb 24. Put it in that perspective.. there is one solid month of prep!  Holy moly. That didn't help me not freak out! TIME! You're getting away from me!

Pocketful of thankful

Every November my Facebook is flooded with the daily thanks of my friends. I enjoy  reading them. I chose not to do them out of sheer lack of focus. My mind is a web of thoughts and empty space these days combined with complete exhaustion. This week is Thanksgiving and this year more than any I have so many reasons to fill my thankful bank to the point of overflowing. 

These are the gems that I hold in my pocket of thanks....  

I wake up every morning to the man I gave my heart and the rest of my life to. He's the hottest thing on earth to me. We are not perfect but I can bet my life and know with all certainty that he will protect me and my children and for that, I am thankful.

I have the ability to watch my children grow before my eyes into intensely profound human beings. I can kiss them in the morning and hug them before bed. They have taught me more than a lifetime of books could. I still look at them and my breath escapes me the same way it did when they were born. They are beautiful. 

I have a very new measure of thankfulness this year. Although it is not a new feeling exactly it's by far unique. The insurmountable kicks and punches that come from within... The ability to be in pain, wobble and walk, throw up randomly,  get kicked in the ribs and still smile and know that this unique baby is such a blessing for this family. I can already tell he is full of charm and love and energy! 

We have jobs that support us. The kids are filled with hope and inspiration for their futures.  We have wonderful lifelong friends and family that even though are a distance away they are always there for us. We are healthy, happy and there is never a missed opportunity for cuddles in this house. Yes, there could be more money... There could be a bigger house... All ours bills could be wiped away... There could be more time in the day .... but if I never get any of that... I have my loves... I have morning coffee and I have my beautiful life with all this to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

It's now late October and the chill has set in.  The fires have started in the hearth and home is all about each other.  Hooray for Fall and for holidays and for family. This also means that the end of 2013 is drawing increasingly near. Wow, what a reflection that is. What an amazing year. My children continue to grow into fantastic people, my husband (yep, i got me one of those this year!) never seizes to amaze me and I, myself have not only gotten rounder in all the right places (baby delaney)but am far more confident on most all aspects of my life. Confidence though is not without worry. I worry about the unknown just like the next soul. It's the delight in my family's eyes though and the touch of their skin that keeps that skip in my step.

The baby is growing so wonderfully and being a wiggly little noodle all the time. The most beautiful thing that I am experiencing for the first time is a bond between the wee being in my belly and those around me.... the talks, the touches and the excitement is simply amazing. This has been by far my hardest pregnancy. I attribute that to the fact I am no spring chicken any more and the issues I have had between my last and this one are definitely taking their toll. I've had terrible prolonged sickness, cyst, mystery flank pain, and all that my heart is doing better than I anticipated but as promised.... monitoring that aggressively.  It's quite alright though because in the end there will be a beautiful gift.

I really have the urge to do something creative. I need to scrapbook the florida/wedding vacation... i want to make the baby his very own blanket... I want to get the house ready for him.. I want... I want I want.. and when I do have the time.. I want sleep. lol. Go figure!

That's not my name....

They call me Stacy or Amariah... maybe Jolisa .... that's not my name!  Ahhh the Ting Tings, it's no wonder we never heard from them again!  But, my name did change.  I'm a Delaney now.

It's been months since I last wrote.. so let's catch up! Double time!

Planned a wedding. Summer started. Had the wedding. Got pregnant.

Each of those events in this rather short time were momentous in their own right. First, this was a magical wedding. So magical in fact it led to the production of a growing child but later on that. Before all the love and celebration, there was the planning. I've seen many wedding shows and looked at many elaborate themes for modern weddings small and large but to any individual who is seeking a ceremony that is both personal and stress-less ( I won't say stress free because no wedding is 100 percent without stress to the bride, we are women and that's what we do!) then my vote is for a beach wedding.  I can't put to words as well as I would hope to but it turned out exactly how I wanted. Touching, sweet, romantic, involved and all encompassing fun. I was so worried about if my dress would look right, if my vows would be too long and not go with the feel, if the condo was too small and the cops would come knocking on our door and tell us to send everyone home... that the cake wouldn't be enough. You name it.  All my worries though were for nothing because when our toes stepped on that sand... nothing mattered but us and those who were there to share.

Summer vacation!  We had a blast. We will be returning for our family vacation as annually as possible. Drove 7 hours and it wasn't that bad.  The condo we stayed at was fantastic and the beach was at our toe tips whenever we felt like it. Watching the kids experience the ocean was so eye opening. Watching them grow and become open to adventures they have never experienced is one of life's treasures that I want to occur more often than before. We didn't want to do anything but be at the beach morning and night and I wouldn't have changed that for all of the tourist traps of the past in the world.

We got hitched! Only surrounded by those who are so special to us we made such a beautiful commitment to each other.  I was completely blown away by the level of love from our family and friends and the happiness that filled the air. It's been a month and I can still feel that newlywed high.  I was simply amazed. I have the most wonderful husband and my children have the most amazing step-father in existence. We are truly blessed and I can just see the mountains we will conquer as a family. It was so much fun and it went by so quickly. Magic was in the air which leads me to the last bit of news of the summer....

We got ourselves a honeymoon baby!  The birthstone if all goes as planned will be the color of the wedding. Pretty awesome if you ask me.