I'm so very happy. I'm so very excited. I'm also certainly very much in a constant struggle to not whine. I feel like it's all I do and that is most certainly not typical of me. I'm peppy, positive and always looking at the silver lining in every detail of life! Yes, I know the silver lining, the pay off.. a beautiful baby boy who will capture all of our hearts. I can not wait. This is all worth it, without an ounce of a doubt. I'm trying to be strong and I think I'm doing pretty well for the most part. I try to counter each pain with a preparation. My back hurts from the moment I wake to nearly toppling me over by the end of the day... it's the pressure of him being so low. I counteract that with washing the baby clothes and blankets we have. Getting them fresh and ready for his sensitive skin. Emotionally, it worked. A focus... a physical connection to that silver lining. I've never felt so wrung out. I can't stand for too long because of my pelvis and back and I can't sit for too long because of my not all the way healed tailbone. I may have never felt like my body hated me so much but I most certainly have never felt such love, support and anticipation surrounding us by those who care.
We really are loved and I couldn't be more thankful.
I'm apart of this wonderful baby group on Facebook... there's roughly 30 of us all due in March. We talk daily and share our lives. They truly are a treasure. One of the girls posted this little article on the mystery of what a new mom is like for a new dad. Now, I may not be "new" in the least.. in fact, I'm very seasoned. Yet, this time around I feel about as new as I can get. A few of things won't hold true for us because as being a seasoned mom I have learned to trust myself and let go of expectations ... to go with the flow and know that every baby is different and the fears that come with expectations and the unknown are just that with nothing that can be done for them. So, why stress. For the most part this is all true... and I thought very useful. Nobody tells a new dad how to handle a new mom but they have tons of advice on how to handle a baby!
And finally, I have lost my feet.
Can you see them?
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