Blessings Among Chaos

In solid Hollie fashion, my last post stated my intention to routinely write my thoughts. It is therapeutic, it is entertaining and downright fun. Sharing with others is one of my joys. Sharing my knowledge, my possible wisdom, my experience and finally, sharing my heart brings me joy. I should have made myself write more this year. Forced myself to sit in this super comfy, claimed by the husband but I sit in when he isn't around, brown recliner and WRITE. I did not. And what a year to not document! 

2020 .....

My last post was completed in January. At the brink of promise....In January of the year 2020 I finally received my Bachelor's Degree, my second child had all the promises of her senior year ahead of her, I had lost a bunch of weight and was feeling pretty feisty in my new clothes, My oldest was in Utah in the process of signing up for the service. My younger middle child was going with the motions of life and my youngest baby was in Kindergarten. I enjoyed my days in the office and was always busy. My hubster was busy at work managing several different police officers in a school setting. Always busy, always surrounded by young life. The coming months proved to be something out of this world. What was yet to come tossed everything we knew about everyday life aside. 

What was going on??? 

We would read on social media sites and hear on the news. We would hear versions from friend's and family... People in other countries were getting sick and their hospitals were not able to keep up with the demand. Death upon death abroad. We here it will come to our country. We hear that Tom Hanks and his wife get this sickness... we begin to panic. Toilet paper and all cleaning products were hoarded from the stores along with the common sense for survival. All of a sudden a new virus became political. School was canceled before Spring Break, there was no prom and no graduation ceremony. The public was urged to remain home and keep outings to a minimum. The only imaginable way to halt the spread of these germs is to not share them. Countries around the world went quiet, the use of technology for work and for socializing was put to the absolute test. Friendships, relationships and family were challenged to find the good in each other rather than let the annoyances of close proximity take the best of them. Some made it through and some did not. Truth, passion, wonder and fear all made themselves known in a major way. There were wild fires on one coast and riots on another. Hurricanes down below and virus hot spots on top. There was a historic presidential election that took place where my older two were able to have their voices heard for the future. 

But what about me?

With my heart condition I have been worried. Not exactly scared but worried for certain. I worried about who I was around and who they were around. I had a very limited circle I was routinely around. I felt as if I was forgetting about people and I was not. I fear some may have taken it personally but I tried hard to let them know I still cared. During the last quarter of the year, my circle became so small that it's close to a speck rather than a circle... it's my family. I struggled with this for a while but I came to the conclusion that yes, all things happen for a reason; my family is my focus. Their well being, their health, their goals and challenges are all meant to be in the forefront at the end of this year that is 2020.  I have had successes and losses. I have had vibrancies and latencies with my health. I have lost friends and gained others. I have learned solid lessons to dealing with both scenarios. Your friendship is only as strong as the mutual understanding and grace. It takes a chaotic year like 2020 to place the world and it's compartments of life into clear perspective.

So on to the holidays..... to usher in a bit of cheer. Hopefully safely and with happy purpose. Let's celebrate the many blessings we have had among the chaos that is 2020.

A vision of 2020

I used to write daily. It freed my soul! Now, as I look back through the past 7 years my posts have come about what seem like once a year. All roughly at the beginning of a new year.  I supposed this is largely due to the New Year being a time of reflection on life and myself.  I choose ambition and become motivated for a brief week.

I'm nearing the end of my college career which has sucked up a vast portion of my time. My work has swallowed up even more. After this, my family takes up valuable hours which I have no complaints on. I need those hours with my family to breathe. My health has been a miserable suspect on occasions and I suspect that when I am finished with my degree in a few short weeks I will know exactly what to do with my "free" time.  I'll be able to write more creatively. I'll be able to set my ideas to motion and watch the words fly.

I still have the novel idea to begin seeking out old buildings to tour. Unique structures to photograph, precious treasures that may seem to only interest myself, document and write about the secrets within those walls that have been echoed through the many years that it is standing. I want to give my children the gift of discovering history with me, to visit new sites, and to share uncharted territory.  I want to release the young child that dreamt of being an explorer in a simpler time.

I want to try different wines and foods. I want to give a definition to myself other than "mom." I used to think of myself as boring because I didn't have any active hobbies. But, I do have many many interests and soon, I will be exploring those interests to the full extent and I hope to share them with everyone around me.